This weekend has been an odd sort of convergence pathways in my life. Like any soon-to-graduate college student, I find the stress of planning a life post-college spiraling out of control. I've got about fifty different choices, all of them picking and choosing from one another, fighting like chickens in a coop for the most attention.
I can go to to grad school, get a doctorate in English Lit, and teach undergrad.
I can run away to England, get a job as a barista and write all day until I publish my novel.
I can take a year off and intern for a while.
I can go to seminary and start a small church; one that finally has all that I want.
I can search my entire campus for a man, marry him within a year and guarantee financial security.
I can move to New York City, work in publishing and be a successful business woman.
A plethora of options, I know, and don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful to have so many, extremely grateful (I know what it has taken to get me here), but I just don't know what to do. My passion is writing, but the novels I want to write may take a while. And is that really what I'm supposed to do? Every option I fear will spiral out of control into a dead end job, a midlife crisis and a life I never wanted to live. I feel as though my life is not in my control, not something I can fashion to fit me.
How do I make this happen?
"do what you love; fck the rest."
ReplyDelete-Dwayne. Little Miss Sunshine.
"I can search my entire campus for a man, marry him within a year and guarantee financial security." That sounds hilarious.
ReplyDelete